No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
