i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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