Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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