I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
