Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
