everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
