I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I fill condoms, not promises.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I think I just sharted jello shots
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
