she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
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