i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
