I got chris browned last night
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
