he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
