i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
