The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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