At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
