yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
one might say we're banned from that church
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Randomize
