Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
