we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
