I'm laying in your front yard are you home
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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