omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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