Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
