My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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