Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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