I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
