When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
