ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
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