When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Randomize
