I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
