she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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