All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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