i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
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