Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
