"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
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