The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
