Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
