So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
