So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
