fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
