Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
