I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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