I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
