I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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