Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
