hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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