Three words: puerto rican gang bang
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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