your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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