If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
