so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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