I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
