the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
