I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Randomize
