I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
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