thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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